Prince Andrew uninvited to Christmas at Sandringham after security find wire under his jumper

It’s been announced that Prince Andrew will not join the rest of the Royal Family for Christmas at Sandringham after security discovered a wire taped to his chest. 

Following the routine pat-down, the Duke of York was escorted off the Sandringham Estate and will now spend Christmas alone at his beloved Woking Pizza Express.

“He kept banging on about how nice Beijing was this time of year and how much he loves visiting China,” said Simon Williams, a member of the Royal Family’s security team. 

“It soon became obvious he was hiding something. Maybe it was the fact he kept touching an earpiece and saying ‘The eagle has landed’ in fluent Cantonese. 

“Oh, and then there’s the teddy bear he tried to give Charles. The one that had red flashing lights for eyes and the sound of a whirring tape inside. 

“We tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but we eventually asked him to lift up his Wallace and Gromit Christmas jumper. Voila, there was the wire.

“Though, I will give it to him. During our interrogation he didn’t sweat a single drop.”

The news will be sure to devastate the rest of the Royal Family, who still have some tough decisions to make about the guest list for Christmas dinner.

“They were asked point blank if they’d prefer Prince Andrew or Meghan Markle to spend Christmas at Sandringham,” a Palace insider told us. 

“They’re still leaning towards Andrew.”

Advertisement

TopicalT-shirts

Wear your opinions and maybe even annoy a politician or two!

See the full collection →