“You must pick a side in the Israel/Lebanon conflict and forever defend EVERYTHING they do,” insist contrarian simpletons

As the Israel/Lebanon crisis continues to escalate with fighting on the ground, contrarian simpletons online have continued to insist that you must immediately pick a side, and then defend every single atrocity carried out by that side.

Jason Matthews, a man who pays for Twitter and insists his freedom of speech is the most pressing concern facing the nation, told us, “You must pick a side, publicly, and then you must accept that you are obliged to defend either terrorism, or war crimes. There is no other option.

“I don’t want to hear ANYTHING about nuance, or the complex geopolitical situation in the region – there is no fence-sitting allowed. I want you to pick a side, so that I can beat you with a stick for all the awful things that side has done.

“And no, it doesn’t matter which side you pick, I have a big stick ready and waiting for you.”

Meanwhile, non-morons have reacted with horror at the unfolding events in Israel, Palestine and Lebanon, while trying to focus on the human tragedies on all sides.

One such non-moron, Simon Williams, told us, “If you believe that Lebanon is the next victim of a hostile occupation and land grabs by their much more powerful neighbours, then you are allowed to have sympathy with their position without defending the terrorist atrocities carried out by Hezbollah.

“However, if you believe that Jewish people have a right to the Israeli territory and are right to be fearful of the fact they are surrounded on all sides by people who want them eradicated, then you are allowed to have sympathy with their position without defending the literal war crimes committed against a much less powerful neighbour that are carried out in their name.

“Nuance is your friend here. If you’re simply going to say ‘this side did a bad thing, therefore I unequivocally support the other side’, then you will quickly find yourself defending some pretty awful things, and no one likes doing that. Except sociopaths, and low-information morons.”

To which Matthews added, “There is nothing wrong with being a low-information moronic sociopath; some of the most entertaining people I follow on Twitter are low-information moronic sociopaths.”

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