First European cases of Mpox raise fears of severe outbreaks of anti-vaxxer gibberish

As Swedish doctors report the first recorded case of the more dangerous Mpox clade 1 variant outside of Africa, the world braces for an onslaught of anti-vax bullshit that threatens to infect the entirety of social media, along with doing significant damage to Facebook’s fact-checkers.

Trying to get ahead of the issue, Simon Williams, a spokesman for the World Health Organisation, advised, “Be vigilant when encountering an anti-vaxxer.”

“Just imagine you’re dealing with an uncle who’s a bit racist, and after a few beers; don’t ever engage with them, maintain social distancing… If you find yourself watching a YouTube clip they found that explains why every Doctor is a part of global Jewish conspiracy, it may already be too late.”

Patient zero for the rapidly spreading anti-vax hysteria has already been identified as Twitter poster CucksforMusk*69.

Several days ago, they posted a poorly edited missive that implicated Bill Gates, Kamala Harris and, bizarrely, every female sports commentator alive in spreading wokeist lies about made-up leftist diseases.

At press time, the post had already spread across 30,000 accounts, with symptoms including obviously made-up statistics, weird AI memes about persecution, and commentators feverishly repeating that “sheeple” need to “wake up”.

There are fears the post could potentially mutate further and make the leap to LinkedIn without sensible and considered moderation.

Williams added, “Ironically, the virus is largely spread through skin-to-skin or sexual contact, so the most vocal anti-vaxxers are already amongst the most protected in the country from mpox.”

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