France promises Eurostar ticket to any asylum seeker returned to France by Nigel Farage’s ‘Operation Fortress’

France has promised to reward every asylum seeker returned to its beaches by Nigel Farage’s proposed ‘Operation Fortress’ with a complimentary Eurostar ticket back to London, after concluding that if Britain was going to start playing playground games with international law, it would be rude not to join in.

French officials confirmed that anyone arriving unexpectedly on a French beach via a Royal Navy vessel would be met with a warm welcome, a croissant, and directions to the nearest Eurostar train departing for St Pancras.

“It’s only fair,” said one French government source. “If Britain has decided that international agreements are now just optional suggestions, then we, too, can embrace this exciting new era of making things up as we go along.”

The source added that passengers would be encouraged to enjoy the comfortable journey before being politely invited to wave back towards Dover as the train passed through Kent.

Reform defended its plans, insisting Britain had every right to return migrants to France regardless of whether France had agreed to receive them, or indeed whether international law had anything to say on the matter.

“Once we’ve dropped them off, they’re France’s problem,” explained one party spokesperson. “And once France puts them on a train back here, they’ll be Britain’s problem again. It’s called taking back control.”

Military planners are reportedly less enthusiastic, with senior figures privately wondering whether the Royal Navy’s newest strategic role involves ferrying the same people backwards and forwards across the Channel until everybody gets bored.

Political analysts said the proposal represented a bold new chapter in Anglo-French relations, replacing centuries of diplomacy with an expensive game of pass-the-parcel involving warships, high-speed rail and increasingly exasperated civil servants.

At press time, Reform had announced a follow-up policy under which any Eurostar train arriving at St Pancras would immediately be turned around and sent back to Paris, prompting France to unveil plans for an even faster return service.

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