Deacon Blue did not write “A van called Didnae See” about Nicola Sturgeon. So we did.

There’s a lass I meet, works up our street
She’s a worker for the people
Has been twenty years
And she takes no lip off nobody
And never does no wrong
Says she’s got a plan
for making Scotland strong
And she packs the money in a “sunblest” bag
The children call her “Nippy”
She never lets on
But I know ’cause I saw the accounts
There’s a fortune missing – eye watering amounts
She’s gonna buy a Motorhome
Gonna call her Didnae See.

And I’ll drive her down to London
Full of coffee machines and plates
They won’t be just for me
But presents for my mates
They’ll ask me how I got her I’ll say “All procedures were properly followed”
They’ll say isn’t she pretty that van called Didnae See.

And I’ll say “What van?!”

Didnae see, didnae see, didnae see, didnae see, didnae see, didnae see.
Didnae see a van, didnae see a van, didnae see a van, didnae see a van

And I’m thinking about an XBox
And I’m thinking about pens
And I’m thinking about coffee
And I’m thinking how good it would be
To be here some day
In a van called Didnae see, a van called Didnae see

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