Baying electorate demand new mewling fool in Number 10 to loathe and despise

The UK’s furious public are increasingly vocal in their demands for a different thick-witted cretin to be installed in Downing Street so they can enjoy someone new to abhor and despise.

“I’m sick of Starmer. I’m running out of things to hate about him,” said Simon Williams, a voter from Essex, frothing with fury.

“I hate his stupid policies, I hate the way he sacks everyone to cover his own mistakes. I hate his hair, his voice, the way he walks. I hate the way he carries that stupid folder everywhere. 

“But I’ve hated all that for ages now. I want someone different to hate.”

Eleanor Gay, a voter from Nottingham, almost completely subsumed with rage, agreed.

“Someone new to detest? That would be brilliant! I could hate their shoes and their aftershave and their hobbies. 

“Get me a new hapless, bovine cretin to stand up and start wibbling on about hard-working families and there’ll be loads of new and exciting things I can hate them for.”

Both voters seemed confused when it was suggested that they might end up with a Prime Minister that they didn’t hate.

“Well that’s just stupid,” said Mr Williams.

“It’s the Prime Minister. What else are you supposed to do with them other than hate them with the burning fury of a thousand suns?”

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