Zack Polanski asks to borrow 0.12% of Nigel Farage’s undisclosed £5m crypto-backhander

Zack Polanski has found himself in hot water when it was disclosed earlier this week that he may owe a whopping £6,000 council tax.

He has turned to his Parliamentary colleague Nigel Farage for help.

“Well, everyone knows that Nigel Farage got that massive five million pound bung from the guy in Thailand, and that he got it tax-free,” said the Green Party leader.

“So I wondered if he could spare 0.12% of that to help me with this little council tax snafu. I mean, the money I owe? It’s nothing compared to this massive lump sum that he got from that Thai national. He’d barely notice it.

“Even in a moderate savings account, he’ll earn £6k in interest on that tax free amount in just over a week.”

There were questions over whether it would be morally correct for Polanski to use money gifted to the Reform Party leader from a secretive Thailand-based crypto-billionaire.

He went on, “Oh no, it’s fine. Because it’s Nigel Farage. No, if anyone else had taken five million pounds from a foreign crypto-billionaire and failed to disclose it in accordance with Parliamentary rules then, yes; massive problem. Investigation, sanction, all that. But it’s Nigel Farage, so it’s fine.

“So, yes, hopefully he can help me out with a minuscule amount of that five million pounds, that would get the press of my back and we can all just get on.”

Nigel Farage has yet to comment as he’s too busy counting his money.

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