Trump excited to ask astronauts if the Moon hit their eye like a big pizza pie

US President Donald Trump has scheduled an emergency meeting with the Artemis II astronauts to decipher whether the Moon actually does hit your eye like a big pizza pie.

The Orion space capsule will splashdown in the Pacific Ocean this evening, where the Artemis II astronauts will be immediately hurried into a presidential vessel and grilled about Dean Martin’s song ‘That’s Amore’.

“We’ve told the astronauts to humour him,” said Simon Williams, Administrator of NASA.

“The president keeps asking all these questions about ‘That’s Amore’ and whether the Moon actually does hit your eye like a big pizza pie. We realise it’s an incredible waste of their time, and ours, and there’s much more important data we need to gain from the astronauts, but we also need to keep the President happy.

“Oh, and don’t get me started on all the ‘Is the Moon really made of cheese?’ questions he wants to ask.

“Honestly, it’s like we have a toddler as president. These astronauts want to see their families, but instead, they’re answering questions about whether Moon cheese would pair well with pineapple. It’s absolutely crazy times we’re living in.

“Trump is even talking about setting up a NASA Charcuterie Board mission. He says we already have the cheese, now all we need is Moon salami, Mars prosciutto and Neptune olives.

“The guy is nuts.”