Oil companies to build giant sun blocker after surge in solar panel sales

Oil companies are working together to build a giant sun blocker, after a surge in solar panels sales started to threaten their business.

With Octopus Energy reporting a 54% rise in solar panel sales recently, oil companies have decided to take drastic action, by building Mr Burns’ giant sun blocker from The Simpsons.

“I was watching The Simpsons last night and realised we could build a sun blocker exactly like Mr Burns did,” said Chuck Williams, a Senior Executive of ExxonMobil.

“I know it’s just a cartoon, but he makes an excellent case. If there’s no sun, then people can’t use solar panels. If people can’t use solar panels, they’ll have to keep using our oil. It’s absolute genius.

“The logistics of attaching a giant disc to a giant pole will undoubtedly be quite difficult to pull off. But there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for money. Honestly, I would punch a child in the face if it meant our profits went up even 0.1%. It sounds bad, but it’s the truth.

“In hindsight, the Iran war could turn out to be a Godsend. We would never have thought to do this if people hadn’t started buying more solar panels. Now they’re going to have to use our oil 24/7 and there’s nothing they can do about it.

“I owe Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein a beer.”