Trump calls on NATO to help reopen Kid Rock’s pool

After two US Army helicopters were spotted hovering above Kid Rock’s house, Donald Trump has now urged NATO allies to help regain control of the rock star’s pool.

Despite constantly going back and forth between needing and not needing NATO’s help, Trump has today called on his allies for their support in reopening the strategic waterway. 

“We’re asking NATO to help us reopen Kid Rock’s pool,” said President Trump.

“NATO has been very unhelpful so far, but we need it open, folks. We need that pool open. Kid Rock, I know him very well. He’s a big friend of mine. Great guy. Tremendous guy. He said to me, ‘Donald, Iran are blocking the pool. They’re blocking the pool, they’re blocking the oil.’ I said don’t worry Mr Rock, we’ll get it open. 

“We think there might be some mines in the pool. Some big mines. Some very bad mines. We’re not entirely sure. There’s a pink inflatable mine shaped like flamingo. Big flamingo. Very inflatable. Very pink. Iran are nasty people. They’re disguising the mines as flamingos. It’s very bad, folks. Very bad.

“We’re gonna hit that flamingo so big. The biggest hit a flamingo has ever seen. People say we have the best flamingo-destroying missiles. A lot of people are saying it. The pool noodles, we’re gonna take them out too. We’re gonna take them out so big. 

“There’ll be no more pool noodles after we’re finished with them.”

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