“You lost, get over it” Farage told

Nigel Farage has been gently reminded to “you lost, get over it” after dramatically losing the Gorton and Denton by-election and immediately discovering several extremely suspicious ballot papers that appear to have been cast for someone other than his candidate Matt Goodwin.

The Reform UK leader raised concerns about “family voting”, “sectarianism”, and what he described as “people voting incorrectly”, prompting local voters to respond in the traditional post-defeat manner: by shrugging and repeating, slowly and clearly, “You lost. Get over it.”

Residents confirmed they were merely applying the gold-standard constitutional doctrine first unveiled in 2016, in which any expression of disappointment with an electoral result is treated as a personal weakness and/or an attack on democracy.

“Look, Nigel,” said lifelong voter Darren Williams, polishing a commemorative ‘No More Experts’ mug. “You can’t just keep banging on about it. The people have spoken. That’s democracy in action. Unless you’re saying you hate democracy now?”

Others suggested Farage simply accept that 40% of the electorate clearly meant 100% moral authority.

“It was a once-in-a-lifetime by-election,” explained wife Sharon, who has tweeted ‘GET OVER IT’ approximately 9,000 times since 2016.

“You can’t keep re-running it until you win one. That would be chaos. Imagine the uncertainty it would bring. That’s why I’m accepting the result, and so should Nigel.”

When asked whether raising concerns about voting integrity was legitimate in a healthy democracy, voters patiently clarified that such scrutiny is only appropriate when you win.

“Complaining after a vote is divisive,” Darren added. “What we need now is unity. Specifically, everyone uniting behind the result Nigel doesn’t like.”

Political analysts say the situation marks a fascinating constitutional milestone, as the phrase “You lost, get over it” has now completed its full migratory cycle and returned to its original habitat.

Farage was unavailable for comment, reportedly busy insisting he’s absolutely fine about it, actually, and that this is exactly what winning feels like.

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