“But I’m really into the curling” insists man defending fifth consecutive day on the sofa

A man has insisted today that he is ‘really into curling’, which means he is unable to help with housework whilst the winter Olympics is still on. 

Simon Williams, who also really likes figure skating, and downhill snowboarding, made the claim earlier after his wife had asked him to help sort out some washing and generally ‘get off his sodding arse’. 

Speaking earlier, he told us, “I’d like to help, but I can’t miss the curling. It’s getting really exciting now, so I can’t really help around the house.

“Look, I would love to help out and get off my fat arse and actually do something, but you know… the Winter Olympics is on, and I am well into pretty much all of the sports now.  Yes, I didn’t know most of them existed a week ago, but a week is a really long time.

“Obviously I love the curling, but I definitely can’t miss the cross country skiing later, that will be amazing.

“Then it’s the figure skating this afternoon, and of course the skeleton which has some pretty exciting heats lined up. 

“And I’d love to help with dinner later, but I need to watch the biathlon, so can’t really move from the sofa.”

Asked if he knows what the biathlon actually is, we were told, “No idea”.

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