United States must control Greenland, Canada, and Central America, insists Trump after night playing RISK

US President Donald Trump has renewed his calls for the US to seize foreign territory after a late night spent playing the board game RISK.

“We already have Alaska and the two halves of the United States,” explained Mr Trump. “If we take the rest of North America, we get five more little guys. That’s a lot more guys, OK?

“We’re not sending any more aid to Ukraine, they don’t need our help, according to the uh… latest maps I’ve seen, their border goes all the way to Afghanistan now. Besides, we can’t get involved in Europe without taking Iceland.

“Believe me, I understand the military. It’s purple. And another thing, a little horse is worth a lot more than a cannon, don’t let them try to tell you otherwise.”

“It’s my fault really,” Trump aide Chuck Williams told reporters, “we used to play Scrabble on board game night until I told him ‘covfefe’ and ‘bigly’ aren’t real words.”

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