Asking us to stop creating non-consensual sexual images of children is ‘censorship’ insists Musk

Elon Musk has bravely taken a stand for free speech by insisting that being asked to stop facilitating the creation and spread of non-consensual sexual images of children is, in fact, “censorship.”

Speaking from the ideological high ground he discovered sometime between buying a social media platform and setting it on fire, Musk explained that removing the feature would be a “dangerous slippery slope” that could one day lead to other horrors, such as being asked to behave responsibly or acknowledge consequences of enabling illegal behaviour.

“First they come for the paedophiles,” Musk reportedly warned, “and then they come for the incels. And after that, who knows? Maybe advertisers.”

The billionaire entrepreneur stressed that the feature in question is not the problem, and that the real issue is “woke journalists” unfairly pointing out that allowing users to generate exploitative, non-consensual images of minors is “really bad, actually”.

Sources inside the company say the platform has recently enjoyed a surge in engagement from “previously underserved communities,” including men who believe women owe them sex and people who should absolutely be on some sort of watchlist.

Musk has described this as “strong growth in niche verticals.”

“It’s very lucrative,” said one anonymous employee, nervously shredding their CV. “You wouldn’t believe how much subscription revenue you can make when you decide ethics are optional and the laws protecting children can simply be ignored.”

Critics have suggested the simplest solution would be to remove the ability to take clothes off people entirely. Musk rejected this extreme proposal, arguing that doing so would amount to “giving in,” which he believes is worse than enabling abuse.

“This is about principles,” Musk said. “My principle is that if something makes me money, it must be defended to the death, preferably while pretending I’m the real victim in all this.”

At press time, Musk was reportedly drafting a post explaining that laws are also a form of censorship, and that prisons are “cancel culture gone mad”.