Rachel Reeves to introduce new 70% Corporation Tax rate for all Lettings Agencies

author avatar by 12 months ago

Chancellor Rachel Reeves has reportedly announced plans to introduce a “special and entirely coincidental” 70% corporation tax rate aimed exclusively at lettings agencies, just hours after her own agent apologised for failing to spot she didn’t have a valid licence to rent out her second home.

The new tax, described by Treasury insiders as “revenge-based fiscal policy”, will target any company that has ever used the phrases “tenant referencing fee”, “admin charge”, or “it’s the market rate, I’m afraid.”

Reeves, who faced heavy criticism for the licensing blunder, insisted the move was not personal.

“This isn’t about vengeance,” she told reporters while holding a voodoo doll in a Savills lanyard. “It’s about ensuring fairness, responsibility, and watching every letting agent in Britain slowly suffer a catastophic and painful death under my watchful eye.”

The Chancellor’s own agent has apologised for the oversight, admitting they “failed to notice the small detail that our client was breaking the law.”

However, they stopped short of taking full responsibility, saying, “We’d have spotted it if we weren’t so busy charging tenants £200 for photocopying a passport.”

Industry reaction has been swift and tearful. A spokesperson for the Association of Residential Letting Agents said, “If this goes ahead, we may have to start charging tenants £500 just to view a flat.”

Meanwhile, Labour sources claim Reeves is already planning further measures to tackle housing sector inequality, including a proposal to rename Rightmove as “Wrongmove” and to replace every estate agent’s desk plant with a small but vicious cactus labelled “moral compass”.

When asked if she regrets the whole affair, Reeves paused before replying, “Only that I didn’t think of this tax sooner.”

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