“What’s that shiny thing?” ask bemused England men’s team

The England men’s football team have been left completely baffled today, after witnessing the women’s team lifting up an unknown shiny object for the second time.

The Lionesses retained their European Championship trophy in a thrilling penalty shootout against Spain, only for Thomas Tuchel and his players to ask what the hell Leah Williamson was holding up to the crowd.

“I didn’t have a clue what was going on,” said confused England captain Harry Kane.

“England won the game and then suddenly they were all celebrating and passing around this strange object that was clearly from outer space. It freaked me out a bit, to be honest.

“And now I’m hearing something about taking this alien item on a bus and parading it around London?

“Surely we should be studying this object to reveal any secrets it may tell us about the universe, not driving it around Oxford Street that close to the general public?

“Some of the boys think it might be a weapon intended to slay our species into extinction, but I’m of the opinion it’s some sort of Martian power source or cooking utensil. Whatever it is, I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life.

“Oh, it’s an international trophy? Yeah, that probably makes more sense.”