UK to continue selling weapons to Israel after Israeli government ‘pinky promises’ not to use them on people queuing for aid
by Andy Matthews 1 year ago 
The UK government has announced that it will continue its robust arms sales to Israel, following a landmark ‘pinky promise’ ceremony that assured British officials of the Israeli government’s intention not to use the purchased weapons on humanitarian aid convoys in future.
This decision comes in the wake of over 120 Palestinians being killed while trying to get aid in the last week alone, with dozens shot by IDF soldiers, and thousands more suffering malnutrition and starvation.
The solemn pinky promise, a diplomatic ritual believed to be more binding than any international treaty or legal document, was held in a secret location, possibly at the end of a rainbow, signifying the rare and magical nature of this agreement.
Witnesses to the pinky promise reported a solemn atmosphere, only briefly interrupted by the sound of fingers locking and the collective sigh of UK arms dealers fretting at the loss of a half-a-billion pound customer.
UK Foreign Secretary, David Lammy, speaking from behind a podium adorned with toy tanks and fighter jets, declared, “This pinky promise represents a new chapter in international diplomacy. We are assured by our Israeli counterparts that the weapons we sell them will be used responsibly, and definitely not against those queuing for food and medicine in Gaza.
“I mean, what sort of monster would do such a thing after making a pinky promise?”
In response to concerns from just about everyone about the efficacy of this new diplomatic strategy, the UK’s Foreign Office has launched a new initiative titled “Operation Hopeful Naivety,” aimed at encouraging other nations to adopt the pinky promise in resolving international disputes.
While the international community watches in bemused anticipation, the UK arms industry has welcomed the decision, with one executive commenting, “As long as there are pinky promises, there’s profit to be made.
“This is a win-win for everyone, except maybe those on the receiving end of the weapons we’re selling to Israel.
“But let’s not focus on that; let’s focus on the magic of the very real pinky promise.”
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