eBay founder gets married using Jeff Bezos’ second-hand decorations

The founder of eBay has officially tied the knot in Venice today after buying all of Jeff Bezos’ old wedding decorations for a fraction of the price.

The Amazon founder married his partner Lauren Sanchez over the weekend in a lavish affair, though it seems to be the eBay founder who had the last laugh by getting the exact same wedding at a much lower cost.

“I’m hearing that most of the wedding stuff was bought using Buy It Now,” said showbiz reporter Simon Williams.

“I have to say, the bride looked stunning walking down the aisle in Lauren Sanchez’s dress. She didn’t seem at all concerned about the massive wine stain down the middle of it.

“The flowers looked a bit dead, but still passable. I personally would’ve bought new food for the guests. The half-eaten veal absolutely stunk and don’t even get me started on the rotting sea bass. But hey, everyone’s special day is unique.

“The main problem was the best man. For some reason his jokes didn’t really land this time around. My guess is because the speech was written for a totally different groom entirely. 

“Plus, it was right ball ache looking all over Venice to find the doves that had been released.”

Advertisement

WANT TO GET RIDOF ALL THE ADS?

Support topical satire for the price of one coffee month!

SUBSCRIBE HERE →