Iran makes nuclear site ‘totally indestructible’ after hiding it inside a giant Nokia 3310

Iran has announced that their nuclear facility in Fordo is now completely impenetrable after national security decided to hide it inside a giant Nokia 3310.

Only the US is believed to have a bomb strong enough to destroy the site, however all hope now seems to be lost with the addition of the giant indestructible Nokia.

“There’s no way we’ll be able to destroy it now,” said US Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth.

“We could drop an atomic bomb on a Nokia 3310 and it would come out completely unscathed. I can’t lie. It was a really smart move by Iran. They’ve made us look like right tits.

“We’re all stumped on how to go forward with this conflict. Everyone is out of ideas. None of us in the Pentagon meetings has any clue what our next move is. Even the ten journalists I accidentally added to the Iran group chat aren’t sure what to do. It’s a real pickle.

“Why couldn’t they have built a giant iPhone to surround their nuclear site instead? We wouldn’t have even needed to attack it. It would’ve just broken on its own. But a Nokia 3310?

“No fucking chance, mate.”