Man paralysed after being crushed under the weight of single perfectly manageable task

A man has been left utterly paralysed after being crushed under the immense weight of the single perfectly manageable task he has ahead of him today.

Simon Williams, a self-employed consultant from Basingstoke, is facing the single simple task of reconciling his receipts for the past two months so his accountant can do his books, but has found himself flattened under the task’s enormous heft.

He told us, “I… can’t… move.

“I look at the task ahead of me – this not entirely unreasonable pile of receipts – but for some reason it has me completely paralysed. I can feel the weight of it pressing down on me… it’s… crushing.

“I know what I need to do, I just can’t move to do it. It has me completely paralysed.

“Who knew receipts could be so heavy. I can move my eyes to look at them, but I can’t move my arms to actually do something about them. I can’t even cry for help.”

Luckily friends of Williams were able to heroically rescue him after they reminded him he could free himself to watch another episode of the Walking Dead on his streaming service instead of tackling the job at hand.

The Procrastination Society (we’ll do a proper logo later)