Elon Musk emerges from weekend Ketamine bender asking ‘I didn’t do anything stupid did I?’
by Andy Matthews 2 years ago 
Tech billionaire and social media overlord Elon Musk reportedly resurfaced Monday morning after what sources describe as a “multi-day ketamine voyage into the void,” pausing only briefly to ask, “I didn’t do anything stupid, did I?” before nervously opening the Twitter app.
Witnesses claim Musk, 52, spent most of the weekend lost in a haze of philosophical musings about the “nature of reality,” punctuated by sporadic bursts of online activity, including publicly endorsing Tommy Robinson, a far-right grifter in the UK known for demonising immigrants and pretending the EDL organisation he created wasn’t chock full of kiddy-fiddling nonces.
Musk’s support reportedly praised Robinson as a “free speech warrior” and included an AI-generated image of Winston Churchill riding a Tesla Cybertruck into battle.
Upon being informed of the tweet, Musk grimaced and muttered something about how the app should really include a “substance-fueled posting warning system” before pivoting to his next question: “Wait—did I also call a member of the UK parliament a rape apologist?”
Staffers awkwardly confirmed that Musk had, in fact, fired off a 13-post thread accusing several British MPs of “enabling predatory behaviour” after one dared to question the ethics of his support for a convicted criminal who almost collapsed multiple grooming gang trials.
Reports suggest Musk then followed up by speculating whether the United States should “liberate the UK in the name of democracy,” complete with a poll that offered users the option to vote for “Shock and Awe 2.0.”
By Sunday evening, Musk’s timeline had shifted to musings about replacing the Royal Family with Dogecoin mascots and challenging King Charles to a cage match for control of Buckingham Palace.
Asked whether he regretted any of the posts, Musk simply shrugged, “Honestly, if it got people talking, isn’t that what matters? We’re haemorrhaging users for some unfathomable reason, so all eyeballs are good at this stage.
“Anyway, I need to lie down for a bit.”
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