Elon Musk fan to start suing women who refuse to date him

Simon Williams, a single 37-year-old fan of everything Elon Musk, has today launched legal proceedings against women who have refused to date him, citing Musk as the inspiration behind the move.

After Musk announced he was suing several high-profile advertisers for choosing not to advertise on Twitter, Williams insisted this latest stroke of genius could be applied to his personal life.

“Masterful gambit, sir,” Williams commented underneath a Tweet in which Musk announced the lawsuit.

A mere four hours later, Williams had drafted ‘letters before action’ with the help of an online AI tool, in which he explained to approximately a dozen women that they must date him or face the legal consequences.

When asked what he plans to achieve with his legal challenge, he explained, “I’m grateful to Elon for showing the world that rejection need not be the end of the matter; in business, and in your personal life. You can’t succeed in this world if you simply accept a ‘no thanks’, which is why I am prepared to sue every woman who has rejected me in my 37 years on this planet.

“If a woman simply expresses a personal preference for someone else, or believes I am literally a toxic influence in her life, that is no defence – as I will explain in court, as soon as I’ve seen how Elon plans to explain the same principle in court.

“These women don’t realise what their rejection has unleashed on the world.

“DATE ME!”