President Biden to apologise for America’s use of the word ‘fanny’

The President is set to issue an apology to other English-speaking countries for America’s use of the word ‘fanny.’

“I don’t think that anyone was as shocked as the American people when they found out that ‘fanny’ doesn’t mean ‘bottom’,” said Elmer Ratched, a White House spokesperson.

“For many years, we’ve said things like ‘I’m going to spank your fanny’ and ‘sit there on your fanny’ – this has obviously been profoundly upsetting and embarrassing to people who actually know what ‘fanny’ means. The President will formally apologise for that embarrassment and upset.”

It is understood that America’s misunderstanding of the definition of the slang word ‘fanny’ stems from a conversation in 1927 between Chief Justice Taft, and an English prostitute named Big-Bottomed Bertha. Whilst there has never been any suggestion of impropriety on the part of Chief Justice Taft, he appears to have come away from the conversation under the impression that the ‘fanny’ meant ‘bottom.’

The President will use a speech later this month to issue an apology on behalf of the American people for this misunderstanding.

He will not, however, be apologising for America’s misuse of the word ‘pants’ as, for reasons best known to Americans, they continue to insist that ‘pants’ means ‘trousers.’