Good? I’ve had better Fridays, insists Jesus

Jesus has claimed that whilst he has no problem with people celebrating Good Friday, maybe they would consider renaming it to something more appropriate.

Speaking through one of his earthly representatives, Jesus said, “As Fridays go, the particular one you’re enjoying today wasn’t actually one of my best.

“It wasn’t even in my top couple of dozen if I’m honest, but if you want to go around calling it the ‘Good’ Friday, then I guess that’s fine. Your call.

Jesus then went on to recount alternative Friday’s he’d enjoyed that might be more deserving of the title ‘Good’.

He said, “I actually remember this one Friday where me and the boys went down to the beach on the Sea of Galilee, I turned some water into wine so everyone could get their buzz on and we had a cracking laugh mucking about in the sun.

“If I remember correctly, Mary Magdalene brought some of her mates down and we had some real fun, you know. That wasn’t a good Friday, that was a great Friday.”

Jesus went on to explain why he understood the Christian desire to celebrate Good Friday.

He said, “Look, I get it, you’re celebrating something you see as being the start of something good – I’m just saying the start of it, the bit that happened today, wasn’t so great.

“I’m not saying there’s nothing good about me being crucified, I’m just saying once is enough, and I’m in absolutely no hurry to go through it again.

“So how about we call it ‘Shitty But I See Why It Was Necessary Friday’?”