Annoying pillock thinks it’s acceptable to go to a wedding dressed like he’s in Peaky Blinders

author avatar by 4 weeks ago

An irritating dickhead has caused unease at a wedding by showing up wearing a long black trench coat, a three-piece suit, a chain watch and a flat cap covering a pudding bowl buzz cut that he thinks is dashing but makes everyone else suspect he’s a bit racist on social media.

Amanda Williams, the wife of the aforementioned twat, agreed that cosplaying as a 1920s midlands crime lord was a bit sad at the best of times, and downright pathetic when embraced as a fashion statement. She also denied any involvement in her husband’s decision to dress like a piss-take of a farmer on a first date.

“Look, I was part of the big hen party and wedding prep. I naively assumed Simon could put on a suit and show up on time without embarrassing himself. Seems I was wrong.”

“I know he likes the show, and perhaps he misinterpreted my comments on how good Cillian Murphy looks as an invitation to dress like him. But surely it’s obvious It’s Cillian that looks good, not the grandad clothes or that shitty haircut that looks like it’s done for lice prevention.

Mrs Williams confirmed that there would be repercussions to her husband’s poor sartorial choices.

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“Normally, weddings get me frisky, and I’m up for more adventurous stuff, but he’ll be lucky if I let him into the hotel room tonight.

“And if he tries a Brummie accent or, god forbid, waits until last orders and says the bar is closed by order of the peaky blinders, then he’s not going to get so much as a handjob until summer.”