Man with new year resolution to be ‘more sporty’ heads straight to the pub to start his darts training
3 years ago
A man with a new years resolution to be ‘more sporty’ has headed straight to the pub to start drinking and throwing small arrows at a board.
Simon Williams, who has been watching the World Championships on television while being enthralled by the man dressed as a Smurf and waving a large foam 180, made his decision yesterday morning after waking at home with a hangover and deciding he needed a new ‘sport’.
Speaking earlier he told us, “New Year New Me – I’m going to be a sportsman, and I’m heading straight to the boozer to prove how committed I am.
“I’ve been meaning to take up a new sport for a while now, after becoming a little overweight and generally drinking too much, but to be honest, nothing in the sporting arena really appealed to me.
“Then I saw these ‘sportsmen’ on telly, just stood there throwing darts at a board, and actually getting paid quite a lot of money for doing so. It’s f**king brilliant.
“It looked right up my street. Literally just stood there playing that game you play with your mates in the pub. It’s like playing chase the ace or dominos or something, but as a proper sport.
“Well, they have a dartboard at our local boozer The Snipe Inn so I am heading right there as soon as it opens to start some intensive training.”
Asked how long he intends to train for each day he told us, “About 7 or 8 pi… I mean hours.”
Yet more NewsThump stories

‘We must cut capital gains tax for people who give me five-million pound gifts’, insists Nigel Farage

Reform promises to rescue Britain by taking money from people who can’t work and giving tax breaks to people who don’t need to

Italians riot as tourist orders cappuccino after 11am

Man begins three-day period of saying the time and then what time it ‘really’ is

Johnny Depp left terrified after Met Office issues Amber warning








