Why catfishing is wrong and I would never, ever do it, by Martin Branning

author avatar by 2 months ago

Catfishing is an awful thing to do to anyone, and I wouldn’t be caught dead doing it. And you can take that to the bank.

I realise that social media can be a real sewer sometimes, which is why you should pay no attention to my name trending along with suggestions I have tried to manipulate people into giving me explicit photos using a fake online persona. It’s simply not true.

I am as real as the nose on my face, and I have never tried to trick someone into giving me sexually suggestive images for a stash that might prove useful to me later.

Why would I do that? I have a good job, and real friends. Neither of which I am willing to go into detail about. Because I respect their privacy. Would someone who deals in explicit smut and potential blackmail material respect the privacy of people like that? He would not. That’s how you KNOW it’s not something I would do.

I have never met Dan Wootton. I have seen his excellent show on the nation’s favourite news channel, GB News, which is incredibly highly-rated and beloved by millions of viewers, but we have never met in person. I am quite sure he wouldn’t know me either. How could he?

I can only hope that these malicious social media accounts don’t convince the police to investigate these allegations, because it would be a MASSIVE waste of their time and taxpayer money, waste which I’m sure the good people at GB News would like to cover in their own investigation if the police went ahead and did investigate these claims. Not that I have any editorial control on that sort of thing, obviously, it just feels like something the excellent journalists at GB News would do.

I can’t imagine the police involved in the investigation have any skeletons in their closets, but the fantastic journalists at GB News would probably find them. If they exist. Which they probably do. All police have them these days.

But that’s all irrelevant anyway, because obviously the police won’t investigate these silly claims further.

Anyway, I have to go and get ready for my show… shower. The shower I need to have. Before I sit at home miles away from a TV studio to watch the wonderfully talented Dan Wootton entertain the nation on GB News this evening.

You should tune in. He’s incredible. The once-in-a-generation talent we’re lucky to have.