Party of law and order calls in ethics advisor to tell them if it’s okay to use your political position to create a more lenient punishment when you break the law

author avatar by 11 months ago

Rishi Sunak is to consult with his ethics advisor to try and solve the mystery of whether it’s okay to use your political influence in an attempt to avoid a punishment usually reserved for members of the public when you are caught speeding.

With most drivers offered the chance of a speed awareness course, or points and a fine, Suella Braverman decided she would like a third option, that of a speed awareness course of her own, where she wouldn’t have to sit next to any plebs, and therefore asked civil servants to discover if this was possible.

“It was not,” explained civil servant Simon Williams.

“The reality is, if you get caught speeding, you attend the course, or you take the points and the fine. You don’t get to create your own far less embarrassing punishment just because you’re the Home Secretary. In fact, I think this is the first time Suella Braverman has ever tried to create a more lenient punishment for someone who broke the law.

“I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that she happens to be the law-breaker in this instance.”

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Meanwhile, voters have been left wondering why Rishi Sunak needs to consult with an ethics advisor, when it’s clear even to primary school children that it’s ethically wrong to change the rules in your favour when you’re in charge of making the rules.

Six-year-old Jake Matthews told us, “It’s like in PE, when the teacher lets one of us be the referee, we can’t go around fouling people and not penalising ourselves like every other player. That’s cheating.

“But don’t worry, I can’t imagine the party of law and order would ever engage in such a thing.”

Cruella Braverman – the unofficial mug!