Gender pay gap still not wide enough, insist men

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The male population of the country has today announced that although the earning gap between themselves and the female members of the population is holding steady at 9.7%, it’s still not nearly wide enough.

As calls were made to bring earnings for men and women more in line, men have said they have already gone more than far enough.

35-year-old man Simon Williams told us, “We men people deserve the right to go about our business without being told off for earning more than women just because we own a penis.

“What is the world coming to if a woman of equal ability could do my job for the same amount of money? It’s preposterous.

“I realise the Government is doing everything it can to keep a decent gap between them and us, but frankly, it’s not enough.

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“I think if we really put our minds to it, we could see men earning 25% more than women inside a decade.”

Many male workers feel let down by the policies of the recent governments which have allowed the earning potential of some of the nation’s women to creep ever closer to their exclusive circle.

Another well-paid man told us, “It’s awful, frankly. Women could be earning the same as me before I even get to retire. It’s unacceptable.

“I didn’t vote Tory so that people with vaginas could start earning as much as I do. What are we, communists?

“Is this the sort of policy that my taxes, well those I agreed to pay, goes towards?  Really?”