After the economy flatlined in the final quarter of 2022, and still remains smaller pre-pandemic levels, Brexiters are hailing the avoidance of a technical recession as proof positive that the mythological ‘Brexit benefits’ are real.
“See! No recession yet – in your FACE Remoaners,” explained Brexiter and free-thinker Derek Matthews.
“I bet all you woke lefties are crying in your oat milk cappuccinos today. You were all so excited to rub a bit of Brexit-based recession in our faces, and now you can’t – HA!
“We all knew Brexit would have some teething troubles, and I distinctly remember saying back in 2016 that we’d still be having a few problems in 2023, so it’s all going precisely as I thought it would.
“Yes, it is; shut up.”
Meanwhile, non-simpletons have been left wondering why the UK is the only G7 country that hasn’t yet returned to pre-pandemic levels of economic output.
Voter Simon Williams told us, “The entire planet was affected by the pandemic, and everyone is being affected by the Russia/Ukraine situation – even though the UK only gets a fraction of its gas from Russia compared to other European countries. But for some reason, we’re still growing slower than everyone else in the G7. I just don’t get it.
“If only there was some incident, something that only affected us. Something that we could point to, which might explain why we went from the fastest-growing G7 economy in 2015 to the absolute worst-performing economy eight years later. What did we do, that nobody else did?
“I distinctly remember experts saying that making it harder to do business with our biggest trading partner would be the biggest act of economic self-harm in history, which I suppose could explain our sick man of Europe status – but then we’ve all had enough of experts, haven’t we?”