From Labour Councillor to Tory Party Deputy Chairman in just five years – the real story of how I lived the grifter’s dream, by Lee Anderson

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My appointment as Deputy Conservative Party chairman has certainly raised a few eyebrows, especially amongst the woke lefties who hate to see a working-class man succeed, but I am here to give you the inside story on how I lived the grifter’s dream and made it to the top of right-wing British politics.

My rags-to-riches rise to the top of the Tory party is like the Cinderella fairytale, except instead of marrying a charming prince, Cinderella decides to join her ugly stepsisters in being a c**t to poor people.

My journey to the top of the Tory party begins with my membership of the Labour party. An unusual place to begin, but as I’ve always said, it’s important to know your enemy, and what better way than by joining them?

Simply joining the party wasn’t enough, I had to run for election as a Labour councillor, which I did successfully in 2015. Yes, that’s right, when David Cameron was fighting his last general election on a Tory manifesto, I was decrying his party as a threat to all working-class people while campaigning with a red rosette on my chest – how quickly things can change in politics!

For me, the big change came in 2018 when I was suspended as a Labour councillor after receiving a community protection warning. How DARE they expect their councillors to abide by the law! That was enough for me to realise my previous political beliefs were all nonsense and that it was time for me to switch my allegiances to the blue side of the chamber. First as a Tory councillor, then as a Tory parliamentary candidate in Mansfield.

Now, any political aficionados amongst you will know that can’t win an election without being a little bit deceitful; everyone knows that, and yet still the woke lefties keep on sharing the video of me asking a mate to pretend to be a floating voter for a doorstep TV interview back in 2019. All I wanted to do was make myself look relatable and popular, and to simultaneously deceive the watching voters. How is that a bad thing? The lefties hated it, obviously, but at least I’ve got some mates to call and ask for favours.

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Once elected, the dream was on, and all I had to do was to appeal to the working-class Tory voters in a way that the Eton crowd never could. Of course, they all wanted to demonise poor people, but it’s difficult to do when you sound like you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth – I, however, face no such challenges.

By using my working-class accent to call foodbank use “unnecessary”, and insisting poor people can cook meals for 30p if they just tried to budget properly, I achieved what no wealthy Tory could ever do, I showed that working-class people can be arseholes too.

Despite what you might think, it’s not just foodbank use where my working-class credentials have been valuable to the party, oh no. When I complain about migrant boats and demonise asylum seekers, my accent can make it seem like an issue that working-class people should really care about, even though there are FAR more important issues facing the country, not least the economic catastrophe caused by Liz Truss after I backed her to become Prime Minister. As you can imagine, I’m keen to leave that particular can of worms completely closed!

And so now, here I am, in my nice new office at Tory HQ, and all it took to get here was to become a disgraced Labour councillor, get a community protection warning, fake a “voter” interview on TV, get a reputation for demonising the poor, and to show myself as willing to vilify asylum seekers at every opportunity.

My rags-to-riches rise to the top of the Tory party is like the Cinderella fairytale, except instead of marrying a charming prince, Cinderella decides to join her ugly stepsisters in being a c**t to poor people.

I hope I continue to be an inspiration to you all, especially all of you budding arseholes out there who need a good role model. You’re welcome.