Bank robber arrested just for saying a silent prayer outside the bank he just robbed

The UK has once again shown its anti-Christian credentials after a bank robber was arrested for saying a silent prayer of thanks outside the bank he just robbed.

Simon Williams, 45, was filmed being arrested mid-prayer in a widely circulated clip on social media, much to the anger of gullible Christians everywhere.

Derek Matthews, Tory MP for North Jowley, told us, “This is an outrage! This is a Christian country, and now the police are cracking down on people who just want to say a nice little prayer of thanks in public? How dare they!

“We need the police to come forward and explain why this man was arrested for silently praying in a so-called Christian country!

“First the woke lefties tried to ban Christmas, and now they’re taking over the police and arresting Christians on our streets merely for exercising their religious freedom of expression!”

After thousands of gullible religious simpletons decided to believe the Tory MPs version of events, the police were forced to respond.

A Police spokesperson told reporters, “Mr Williams was arrested for robbing the bank, not for praying quietly outside it.

“We are going to explain this slowly for the hard-of-thinking morons out there. If you are arrested for breaking the law, it doesn’t matter what you are doing at the time of your arrest. That is not what you are being arrested for. When we arrest you for breaking the law, we don’t care if you are silently praying in your head, eating candyfloss, or doing a terrible impression of King Charles – that is NOT what you are being arrested for.

“So, for the avoidance of doubt, you having a quiet chat with your favourite imaginary sky fairy is not, and never will be, a ‘get out of jail free’ card when you have demonstrably broken the law.”

Advertisement

Classic BritishComedy tees

Celebrating the best of British comedy from the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond.

See the full collection →