Football fan left conflicted after team he hates loses to regime he despises

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Football fan Simon Williams has admitted difficulty in processing the result of Argentina’s defeat to Saudi Arabia, insisting he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

As one of the tournament favourites, who arrived with a 36-game unbeaten run, lost to a team outside the world’s top 50, Williams said he is still struggling to understand how he feels about it.

He told us, “It is objectively brilliant whenever Argentina lose, even more so when it’s to a team they would beat 9 times out of 10 – but at the same time, this is a brilliant result for a despotic regime even worse than Qatar, which means the result is objectively terrible.

“Watching the awful Argies losing makes my heart soar, but watching the awful Saudis celebrating makes my heart sink. God knows what I’m supposed to feel?”

One area not conflicted is the north-east of England, where Newcastle hospitals have reported huge numbers of people being admitted with dangerously prolonged laughing fits.

“Argentina lost, and the Saudis win – hahahaha! What’s not to love?!” explained geordie Trevor Matthews in between fits of cry-laughing.

Meanwhile, fans have chosen to ignore the fact that Argentina lost the opening game of the 1990 World Cup to a lowly-ranked team before going on to reach the final.