Tuesday 6 September 2022

New Tory prime minister should not be tarnished by last twelve years of Tory governments, insist Tories


Tories say don't blame truss

Today should be treated like day one of a new Conservative government, and any problems created in the previous twelve years of Tory rule should in no way be held against the new occupant of Downing Street, according to Conservative party officials today.

As Liz Truss begins forming her new government, officials have been quick to point out that when she talks about the challenges and problems faced by the country, we should all remember that these were caused by a different Tory government.

Conservative party spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “Liz Truss has been in the job about twenty minutes, so to blame her for a dozen years of underfunding, chronic mismanagement and incompetent leadership on the part of previous Tory governments is grossly unfair.

“If previous governments have made mistakes, then so be it – blame them. Do not blame Liz, she has yet to make any mistakes. I mean, the coffee you made before she became prime minister is still quite warm, so she hasn’t had the job that long. And no, you can’t count asking Nadine Dorries to stay on as a minister as ‘a mistake’ because she wasn’t even prime minister when she asked, so technically that was a mistake of the last government administration.

“Ideally we’d like you to simply accept there are lots of problems for Liz to solve, and to therefore lower your expectations of Liz as the prime minister, but at the same time forget who was in charge when those problems appeared, in order to raise your expectations of us as a party.

“If you really want to be pointing fingers at those responsible for all of the problems she is having to face, then we can probably find a way to argue they were actually caused by the last Labour government when they left power in 2010.”

Twatspotting #2 Liz Truss – get the mug here!

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