Monday 5 September 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Climax to Tory leadership contest expected to see Liz Truss and Rishi Sunak finally kiss


Rishi Sunak and Liz Truss

The Tory leadership contest reaches its conclusion today and expectations are high that Rishi Sunak and Liz Truss will finally admit their feelings for each other and kiss.

Although initially thought to be a dull internal competition only of interest to Tory party members and political geeks, millions have people have become gripped by the contest, specifically the will they/won’t they, on-again/off-again relationship between protagonists Liz Truss and Rishi Sunak.

“I’ll be honest, I’ve actually taken the day off today,” said leadership contest fan Eleanor Gay.

“I’m not normally a political sort of person, and I’m still not really, but this whole contest has been so romantic that I’ve been gripped from the start.

“I think they will end up kissing today. I hope so, it would be a really good way to end the whole thing. I want them to. I think everyone does, I mean, we all love a happy ending, don’t we, and I think Rishi and Liz finally kissing and going off together would be lovely and really cheer everyone up.”

The 1922 committee of backbench MPs have remained tight-lipped on whether or not Liz Truss and Rishi Sunak will kiss, but they have confirmed that there will be no explicit scenes of lovemaking.

“No, the leadership race will conclude at 12.30 today and will be suitable for all the family, there will be no scenes of explicit sex,” confirmed Sir Graham Brady.

“I know. That’s a shame, but I’ll still definitely watch,” said Ms Gay.

Thick Lizzy – get the new mug here!

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