Friday 2 September 2022

“It’s just a few highly-classified documents” insists Republican Party that lost its collective shit over a few emails


Lyndsey Graham

The Republican Party has this week called into question the legitimacy of a criminal investigation into the theft of highly-classified materials, just a few short years after every member of the GOP lost their collective shit because Hillary Clinton kept some emails on her private server.

“This could not be more different,” explained congressman Chuck Williams to never fails to seize an opportunity to praise Donald Trump despite Trump’s ongoing and obvious disdain for him.

“What we have here is a President keeping just a few documents that he thought he was allowed to take home, highly-sensitive, top secret stuff related to government business, that he just kept in boxes at his golf club. That’s all.

“Whereas Hillary broke every law in the book by using her OWN computer to send and receive emails relating to government business. I mean, the NERVE of that woman, thinking she owned that information and could do with it as she pleased.

“If I genuinely have to explain why Trump did nothing wrong and Hillary should be in prison then I’m afraid there is no hope for you.”

Meanwhile, non-simpletons have enjoyed watching Republican talking heads contort themselves into ever-more uncomfortable positions to try and pretend Donald Trump did nothing wrong in keeping top secret information in a store room at his golf club.

“It’s delicious,” said one viewer who braved fifteen minutes of Fox News for the entertainment value.

“I am however very much looking forward to the pivot towards ‘It’s not a crime if the President does it because the laws don’t apply to him’.

“There is nothing quite so deluded as a Republican who insists on defending Trumple-Thinskin. But my God, it’s funny to watch.”

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