Friday 19 August 2022

Santa refused visa to deliver presents in post-Brexit UK


Santa post Brexit

Changes to Britain’s immigration system since leaving the European Union will stop Santa Claus from making his annual festive flying visit, it has emerged.

Santa had previously used European freedom of movement rights to fly his sleigh from Lapland into British skies to conduct his annual delivery business.

However, like so many other people working in the ‘logistics and delivery’ industries, the jolly old man is has found it difficult to navigate all the extra paperwork and delays at the border, and will likely focus his time on delivering in mainland Europe instead.

Santa has not applied for a work permit, and legal experts warn that the tradition of parents providing a glass of sherry and a mince pie in return for Santa leaving presents by the fireplace constitutes ‘an informal work arrangement’ – thereby making it impossible for the iconic figure to gain permission to enter the country without the correct paperwork.

Any attempt to make deliveries without permission from the immigration authorities could see Santa arrested, according to legal experts.

Former Brexit Party leader, chief executive, chairman and owner, and dinghy enthusiast Nigel Farage said, “This is just another example of a foreigner coming over here taking the job of a decent hardworking indigenous British national who could easily spend the night delivering presents instead.

“I’ll be delighted to see the end of it.”

In a further complication, the government is believed to favour including reindeer in its annual immigration target.

Priti Patel is believed to favour a quota of four reindeer per year for the whole country, which friends of Santa say would make the job of pulling his present-laden sleigh close to impossible.

The issue has been raised at the cabinet level, with one minister said to have raised concerns that millions of children may be disappointed, only to have been drowned out by shouts of “bah humbug!”

Meanwhile, The Sun is investigating claims that hundreds of Laplanders are planning to cheat immigration controls by masquerading as Santa in shopping centres across the country from November.

Project Fear now known as Project Told You So

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