Nightclub introduces gender-neutral cocaine snorting cubicles

author avatar by 2 years ago

Roxy’s Nightclub in North London is under fire this morning after it emerged the cubicles that patrons use for chopping and snorting coke and K have been designated gender-neutral.

Club management said the change was made in response to customer demand, after it emerged nobody gave a toss what sign was on the door when they’d met someone with a gram or two and were up for doing a line.

Club attendees have reacted positively to the change, saying that it shouldn’t matter what you’ve got hidden in your pants – whether it’s a bag of sniff, some Vitamin K or more Molly than can possibly be good for you.

The cubicles, which come with a small, porcelain table for ease of chopping and snorting, have been marked as gender neutral throughout the establishment.

A club spokesperson told us, “It’s the 21st century and we have to acknowledge that lifestyles are different now; the expectations and standards of our parents have changed to a new, modern generation who don’t see why you should stop copping off with someone and go into separate rooms to get off your tits.

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“In the old days you had to brazenly walk past the queue to the cubicle with another person in tow and act like you weren’t to be challenged, but now everyone is free to make the choice they feel most comfortable with.”

The Daily Mail is up in arms about the change, saying that it is political correctness gone mad and if people want to snort drugs they should do it in their Houses of Parliament office like proper grown-ups.