Wednesday 10 August 2022

‘Recall Parliament in midst of cost of living crisis’ OR ‘Another cocktail by the pool’ – the real-life Sophie’s Choice facing Boris Johnson


Boris and his Sophie's choice

Boris Johnson is facing the most difficult decision of his life, as calls for him to recall Parliament show no signs of abating, but the poolside bar has at least three rum cocktails he has yet to sample.

As the cost of living crisis escalates and millions of Britons face up to the prospect of fuel poverty and energy debt in addition to the double digit inflation affecting their weekly shopping, Boris Johnson is torn on what to do next.

Conservative HQ strategist Simon Williams told us, “It’s a tough one, certainly.

“He could of course recall Parliament to debate the most serious issue facing our citizens in over a year, something that will no doubt have serious long-term effects on the living standards of literally millions of people and that currently gets worse by every passing day – OR – he could stay on holiday relaxing in the sunshine and enjoying a few cocktails by the pool.

“I don’t know how anyone can be expected to make such a decision? Whichever way he goes, he will forever be surrounded by people who tell him he chose incorrectly. He’s in a no-win situation. Either the nation suffers, or he does.

“At time like this, when faced with a difficult decision, it is often wise to do nothing and see how things play out. And that’s why I’ve recommended to Boris that he stay right where he is.

“And if he has to endure a few more of Miguel’s Pina Coladas along the way – so be it. He will grin and bear it like the good little soldier he is.”

Mr Bullshit – the best-selling Boris mug is back for a limited time only!

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