Sadiq Khan returns from fact-finding trip to US cannabis farm all relaxed and a little bit giggly

The Mayor of London has today returned from a trip to a cannabis dispensary grinning like a Cheshire cat, it has emerged.

The Mayoral research visit to the US state of California was born out of the creation of the London Drugs Commission, which will look at the pros and more pros of decriminalising cannabis in the UK.

With eyes as red as the pink panther’s dick, a grinning Sadiq Khan told reporters, “We need to have an honest, open conversation about how awesome weed is, right?”

Giggling, he continued, “So I’ve set up the London Drugs Commission to find out all about this stuff, dude. And dudettes, hah! And trans-dudes and trans-dudettes, I’m all inclusive, baby.”

Reacting to Mr Khan’s announcement, Home Secretary Priti Patel took five minutes off from trying to sink asylum seekers in the channel to comment, “All drugs are bad – apart from alcohol and tobacco, which earn us money that we can spend sending people to Rwanda – and as such he shouldn’t be even thinking of decriminalising any of them.”

She went on, “Cannabis ruins communities, tears apart families and destroys lives, something which I as a Conservative know a lot about.”

Workers at City Hall have this afternoon reported the delivery of hydroponics systems, and the faint sound of Pink Floyd coming from Mr Khan’s office.

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