Bad things still the fault of people who left government twelve years ago, confirm Tories

Anything good happening in the country is thanks to us, and anything bad is the fault of the government that left power in 2010, the Tories has confirmed today.

Speaking to reporters ahead of this months local elections, backbench MP Simon Williams said that his government’s record on anything you are personally unhappy with in the last twelve years, including the cost of living crisis, inflation, wage stagnation, the housing crisis and massive government debt is all down the previous Labour government.

He explained, “Look, we’ve had a dozen years to enact policies that allowed us to meet our forecasts and numerous pledges to the country, but for the most part, we haven’t done that – because of Labour.

“I mean, yes, technically the mess they left behind in 2010 hasn’t changed one bit since that day, and when we took over in 2010 and said we would fix it – but that’s irrelevant.

“And I also know we’ve said many times during the last twelve years that we would make everything better – and we haven’t done that either. But again – and I do hate to sound like a stuck record, but that’s all Labour’s fault.

“Let’s not focus on the specifics of why it’s Labour’s fault, because then you’ll realise you’ve had a dozen years of us saying we know what the problem is and how to fix it, and yet haven’t actually fixed the many numerous problem.

“So, I reiterate, it’s all Labour’s fault. Unless what you are hearing is good news, then that bit was all us.”

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