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Every single member of her Majesty’s government is in a walk-in fridge and won’t come out this morning.
After being approached by the press for comment on videos of Downing Street staff having a good old laugh at members of the public stuck alone at home whilst they whooped it up in fine old style, all 317 MPs smartly turned on their heels and walked directly into the fridge in order to avoid taking questions.
It remains uncertain if they are following social distancing guidelines whilst they are all in there, but a note stuck to the door reads that no rules are being broken.
Reporting from the scene, NewsThump political correspondent Simon Williamssberg told us that muffled voices can be heard from inside the large refrigeration container apparently saying ‘You go…no, you” and a shuffling of feet as of everyone trying to be furthest from the door when it opens.
“I asked several ministers about the video and every single one just turned on their heels walked directly through the fridge door,” Williamssberg said.
“Except Priti Patel who made a noise like the Hypnotoad for half a minute before hovering after her colleagues.”
Enquiries at 10 Downing Street indicated that staff there hope MPs will return soon as they’ve bought loads of food for a planned ‘monster piss-up’ tonight and it won’t keep.
The Cabinet of Arseholes – get the best selling mug here!
