Friday 25 June 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Entire nation has little bit of sick in mouth


Matt Hancock affair

The entire nation currently has a little bit of sick in its mouth after waking to find pictures of Matt Hancock in a passionate embrace with what appears to be an actual woman.

“I’d just poured out a bowl of Coco Pops, and was looking forward to a nice, hearty breakfast,” said High Court Judge Simon Williams.

“Then I sat down, opened up Twitter, saw a picture of Matt Hancock getting off with a woman and immediately threw up in my mouth.

“As a result, I’ve had to start the day with sick-flavoured Coco Pops. Disappointing.”

Eleanor Gay is a mum-of-three and has a little bit of sick in her mouth.

“My entire family has got sick in their mouths,” she said.

“Obviously, whenever we sit down to eat together, we look at Twitter, otherwise we’d have to speak to each other. Consequently, the first thing we all saw at breakfast this morning was that photo.

“Surely if Twitter is going to show something as upsetting, revolting and nauseating as a sociopathic health secretary engaging in heavy petting then there should be some sort of warning beforehand.

“I shouldn’t have to send my kids off to school with sick in their mouths. It’s just not on.”

It is not the first time that the Government has been responsible for the entire country having a little bit of sick in its mouth.

The same thing happened when Boris Johnson’s wedding photos were released and whenever Michael Gove is seen in public.

The cabinet of Arseholes – see the full range HERE!

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