The south of England is facing total societal collapse and a possible descent into cannibalism after the M6 was closed at Junction 25 for several hours today.
Sociologists at the University of Kettering issued a stark warning after traffic on the southbound carriageway was disrupted for most of the morning, resulting in a ‘severe risk’ that anywhere south of Warrington will become an uncivilised wasteland, characterised by feral gangs clad in skins and battling with clubs over basic essentials.
“Or worse, it might become like Wolverhampton,” a clearly concerned Professor Sir Simon Williams told us.
“There was the time the A1 was shut near Worksop and by the time it had re-opened people in Mansfield had reverted to living in caves and worshipping the sun.
“Unless Highways England can get the traffic moving again soon, many people in the South will take to living as their distant ancestors did, mating in the streets and letting their waste fall where it may.
“As a result, some parts of Stoke on Trent, Swindon and Basingstoke will remain essentially unchanged.”