Sunday 7 March 2021 by Lucas Wilde

“Silenced man” has literally never been louder


Laurence Fox is being silenced

Laurence Fox is still being silenced, according to his latest two-page spread in the Daily Telegraph.

The man you’d never heard of until he started complaining about being silenced has now become SO silenced that he’s decided to run for mayor of London, to stand up for himself and the other people who are being silenced (but mainly for himself).

“You are silencing me!” declared the man who is being allowed to run for mayor of one of the world’s richest cities, and to freely promote that fact in a national newspaper.

“I am tired of being silenced and so are other people, many of whose columns you can also read in the Telegraph this week.

“We have a right to air our shitty opinions and your constant disagreement with us means we are being silenced, and I’ll say precisely this during my next appearance on Question Time.”

Professor of English Language, Hayley Rice, said “I would hate to suggest Mr Fox has misunderstood what is meant by ‘being silenced’, but, y’know, he definitely has.

“The most common Twitter reply he receives might well be ‘shut the fuck up’ but that’s not actually tantamount to being silenced.

“There are absolutely people in this world who ARE being silenced, but a mildly successful actor with consistent newspaper coverage, a popular Twitter account and a forthcoming mayoral campaign definitely isn’t one of them.”

Fox countered “See? I can’t even say I’m being silenced without then being silenced by some bint.

“You wait until I get on Sky News to talk about this. Then you’ll be sorry.”

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