Man still not entirely sure which light switch to press in his own home

Putting two or more light switches on the same panel will keep homeowners confused for decades, according to a new study.

Researchers have concluded that it frequently takes people multiple attempts to locate the correct light switch – even if they’ve been living in the same property for many years.

Like many people, homeowner Simon Williams presses light switches after dark in order to see things. And like many people, he often manages to fuck up even this most basic of tasks.

“I’m fine with the bathroom,” he said. “There’s a length of string by the door – that’s easy. I mean, it was a little confusing when we had a chain pull flush but now we have a push button and it’s all much clearer.

“However, in the hallway, there are two adjacent light switches – one for the hallway itself and one for the upstairs landing. I never – and I mean NEVER – press the correct one on the first attempt.

“To make matters worse there’s an equivalent panel upstairs which is equally incomprehensible.

“The supposedly simple act of turning on a light often takes about half a dozen presses. It feels as if I’m communicating in morse code or something.

“The weird thing is I’m actually an airline pilot so I’m used to controlling a console with multiple switches; three, in fact – the autopilot, the seatbelt sign and the button which lets the cabin crew know I need a refill.

“But more than one light switch and suddenly I’m like Chris Grayling on the Krypton Factor.

“Well, I suppose there’s still time – I’ve only lived here for twenty years.”

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