Monday 26 October 2020

Nation actually kind of intrigued to know what excuse government will use when it inevitably U-turns on school meals


nation intrigued

As pressure mounts on the government to reverse its decision to refuse free meals to underprivileged children during the school holidays, the nation has been left intrigued to know which excuse will be chosen for the inevitable u-turn.

Political analyst Simon Williams told us, “Making crappy decisions that hurt the most vulnerable in society is not particularly unusual for a Conservative government, but they haven’t counted on the Marcus Rashford factor this time around.

“Now they’re facing a nation of angry voters who’ve seen them spunk billions up the wall to private companies for delivered failing systems during the pandemic, but is now watching them as they refuse to spend a few million quid putting food in the bellies of vulnerable children.

“That’s not a very good look.  Even after they’ve sent out a few comic book villains like Ben Bradley to defend their position. It must have come as a massive surprise to the government that his sneering condescension failed to change people’s minds.

“The problem they have is that everyone is now looking at them, and if there’s one thing we know about Boris it’s that he likes to change his mind in whichever way the wind is blowing, and right now, it’s blowing in the direction of feeding hungry kids.

“So the question on everyone’s lips becomes what excuse will they adopt when they change their minds – not if.”

The current top three potential excuses according to the nation’s bookmakers are as follows:

  1. It was a misunderstood double-negative, and they actually voted not to refuse to feed hungry kids.
  2. They had planned to feed these kids all along but wanted to trick Labour into attacking them over something they were going to do anyway.
  3. They have miraculously found some extra money because they are brilliant at doing government.

A Cabinet of Arseholes – get the T-shirt here!

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