Monday 26 October 2020 by Chris Ballard

Organisms on moon think Tory MPs are scum, announce NASA


Organisms on moon think Tory MPs are scum, announce NASA

NASA has announced that they have received a mysterious signal from the lunar surface stating that all Tory MPs are scum.

In absolutely massive news NASA have revealed that they’ve picked up signs of intelligent life on Earth’s moon.

“We were scanning lunar structures for indications of water,” said NASA spokesman Simon Williams.

“Suddenly we heard a faint robotic voice giving us a message. It was five syllables long and, somewhat strangely, was being sung to the tune of the musical signal from ‘Close Encounters’.

“‘Tories are all scum. Tories are all scum’. It just kept on repeating.

“Surely this is proof that intelligent life exists on the moon?”

However, many scientists are warning the public not to get too excited.

“Reaching the conclusion that Tory MPs are scum who want kids to starve does not necessarily indicate the presence of an advanced life form,” said one Professor of Space.

“It merely shows that something cleverer than the average member of the parliamentary Conservative party exists beyond our own atmosphere.

“It’s probably just a bacterium living in the lunar subsurface or perhaps even some old dust which was kicked up from the surface when Apollo 11 landed.”

This isn’t the only bombshell NASA has dropped today. After years of intensive research, it has finally come to a conclusion about the US President.

“Yeah, despite what many believe we can confirm that Donald Trump is human,” said Nasa’s Simon Williams.

“Why do you think we dedicate our lives to an eventual escape to Mars?”

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