Bitcoin has reinforced its burgeoning reputation as the financial instrument of choice among the Internet’s most trustworthy people after a Twitter hack saw dozens of high-profile accounts offer unrealistic returns for using giving away a thousand dollars worth of it.
As Twitter struggles to identify the culprits behind the social engineering hack, many casual observers have explained that of course they asked for the funds in Bitcoin.
“Scammers and criminals are doing everything they can to tarnish the reputation of Bitcoin because they are all in the pockets of the big banks,” explained Bitcoin owner Derek Matthews.
“I don’t know why so many scams end up with pleas for Bitcoin, maybe it’s just been a bit unlucky.
“Maybe it’s the fact that’s a piece of piss for criminals to use it and for them to build a framework to relieve the gullible of their own Bitcoin while remaining completely untraceable by law enforcement?
“But I still think it’s just bad luck.”
Meanwhile, those individuals who have yet to dabble in Bitcoin have woken up to the relief that they have never fallen for any of the myriad of get-rich-quick schemes that seem to permeate the Bitcoin ecosystem.
Simon Williams explained, “I’m not an expert, but it does seem like the quickest way to get rich with Bitcoin is to start a scheme where you sell ‘the secret to getting rich using Bitcoin’ to gullible idiots.”
One such idiot told us, “Look, I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure Bill Gates now owed me $2,000 in Bitcoin. He made the offer, and I took him up on it. Case closed.”