Wednesday 8 July 2020 by A.M. Macallister

New Mary Trump book claims Donald Trump orders interns to take his daily Covid-19 tests


Donald Trump gets interns to take his covid-19 tests

According to a new book from Donald Trump’s niece Mary, the President has been ordering White House interns to take his daily Covid-19 tests for him out of concern he couldn’t pass it himself.

“Donald doesn’t take tests he might fail,” his niece explained.

“When confronted with a Covid-19 test ready for him to take, he will immediately insist on finding someone to take the test for him, it’s a technique he’s been using since he ‘took’ the SATs.

“He will have told all of his various aides ‘Find me someone who’s already passed the Covid-19 test with the best score possible’, and that will have been the end of that.”

Though satisfied with his Covid-19 test results so far, the President is reported to be worried about his lack of “positive’ testing.

Mary Trump went on, “White House officials have enlisted Ivanka and Jared to convince the President that a positive test is not what he wants, but some part of him still believes the test should be ‘positive’ at some point.”

When asked to comment on the ‘test taking’ rumors, Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany defended the President.

She explained, “This President has taken more Covid-19 tests than any other President in the country’s history.

“Where was the fake news media when Barack Obama wasn’t even bothering to be tested for Covid-19?

“Barack Obama spent eight years as President, and he wasn’t tested once for the great invisible enemy. Why are none of you reporting on that?”

She concluded by explaining that doctors claimed President Trump had the best ‘nasal swab’ ever done.

“No former President could have had a swab that deep, not even Lincoln, and have you seen his nose?”

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